The first time I started to experience psychosis I was very scared and confused. I used to be very anxious and worried about nearly every aspect in my life. After my diagnosis I did feel a little more relieved, there was now an answer to what I was thinking and feeling and it did help to put my mind, not at rest, but at least in some kind of order. The first time I was admitted into hospital it was quite weird, in regards to I didn’t know what to expect, I didn’t know anyone and I was living in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people, away from my friends and family.
I soon started to fit in and I found the break away from my normal life refreshing. The help I received was starting to help me deal with psychosis. I was then discharged. A few months after this I was re-admitted into the same hospital. Again, it was still a little scary, a lot of my friends I had previously made had gone and I had to start again.
However, I soon found my feet and settled into my treatment. I found it quite hard to keep control of my thoughts and actions and was sectioned. This was very scary, I had no option to leave, and I felt like my whole world was taken away from me. Through medication and sessions with my doctor I got better and I now live at home. Although I didn’t think so at the time, I now know hospital was the right place for me. It meant I could, with the help from others, regain my composure and start to live my life in a “normal” way.
Many activities in hospital kept my mind active but I did find the schooling rather patronising at times. To me, recovery is being able to find a way to get to grips with your problems, being able to focus on meaningful things and finding a way to look forward, even if you still have to deal with some of the problems. When I was in hospital I used to keep a note book full of thoughts and feelings, and although it seems a little stupid and embarrassing it did help, and I still do that, even now. I am now in my second year of college and am in the process of applying to university for next year. I enjoy college and my social life a lot more and I feel much less anxious about a lot of things. I find that Early Intervention Team helps me to keep well, and I regularly meet with my Care Coordinator . This is great because I know that even though I am out of hospital, I know that I’m not alone.
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